me encuentro en estos momentos atrincherado en mi morada. Llevo asi 2 dias, los mismos que han pasado desde que de las hordas rojas se me amenazo. A pesar de las amenzas me siento seguro, con mis camaradas dispuestos a todo por salvar mi honor, y mi vida. Se me explota un escroto de la emocion de ver a tanto PATRIOTA. Desde esta atalalla de la verdad, mando mi corazon a los mil millonardos de billones de seguidores que tengo; tantos como una manifestacion de la AVT con trescientos mil ESPAÑOLAZOS por metro cuadrado. En cualquier caso, y para evitar cualquier daño en mi persona, he apostado a la Maria Angustias en primera fila, en la misma cocina. Si alguien ha de caer en el frente de batalla, mejor que sea hembra, que cuenta menos.
A pesar de los avatares de esta nueva campaña militar de liberacion en la cual nos encontramos en estos momentos, he tenido tiempo de ojear la version electronica de El Nuevo Alcazar, que aunque en ocasianes roza lo rojo mas descarado y no es un fiel reflejo de su hermano de papel, me mantiene informado. Mil millones de kilos de DNT se han encontrado en los analisis periciales. Vamos, que ya no hay duda de que el 11M lo organizo la ETA para conseguir Salamanca y Huelva. Chupate esa, Rubalcabra! Un nuevo trinfo de los pezones negros, si señor, y su inteligente labor de hinbestigacion!
ESPAÑOLES, desde mi refugio esboto un alto y claro: NO PASARAN! RRIBASPAÑA!
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¡Ay D. Tomás, qué bien leerle de nuevo y saber que está usted bien! Como ya le dijo ayer mi amo y señor, cuente usted conmigo para lo que quiera: interpondré mi frágil envoltorio cárnico entre usted y cualquier banda de mapuches / rojos que quieran agredirle.
Sí me gustaría pedirle un par de cositas, que a usted no le cuestan nada y que a mí me harían muy feliz: por favor, no vaya por ahí diciendo que si soy homosesual que si esto que si pederasta culero que si gayer; no es cierto, y aunque siento por mi amo y señor un gran respeto, nunca hemos tenido un contacto carnal más allá de lo estrictamente personal.
Y la segunda, que es también una nimiedad, pero importante para mí: NO ME VUELVA A LLAMAR MONCHITO, POR SATANÁS Y POR SU PUTA MADRE. ¡MONCHO, ME LLAMO MONCHO!
Uy, D. Tomás, perdone por el exabrupto, no sé qué me ha pasado. Ahora me siento fatal, fatal.
En fin, lo que importa: que como Español y como Liberal-Centrista soy uno más de los trillones de centenas que estamos dispuestos a dar la vida por el Honor, la Patria, la Religión Verdadera y el Real Madrid; y a dar más de un miembro por la Guardia Civil y el Papa de Roma. Ayer mismo se me implosionaron varias espinillas a la misma vez al contemplar por el televisor a Esperanza Aguirre, Condesa de Murillo y Grande de España. ¡Qué hembra! Una vez más mi virilidad hizo acto de presencia, y tuve que aplacarla a base de duchas frías y fotos de la Duquesa de Alba (otra grande de España, aunque mucho menos atractiva a mi humilde parecer de plebeyo).
Estimado Monchito,
disculpe sin en momento alguno he dudado de su hombria: Un EsPAÑOL como ustes solo se viste por los pies!!!
Le ruego me adita las disculpas, y desde aqui un alto y claro: EAT MY JRUM (ArribaSPAÑA, en ingles!).
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Ayer por la noche, estando yo de guardia en el asiento trasero de mi seat 131 antiaéreo, se me apareció el mismísimo Cristo de la Buena Muerte en el salpicadero y me nombró Generalísimo de Todos los Ejércitos para esta operación de protección a don Tomás. Cierto es que un observador externo podría calificarnos como una "Panda de Descerebrados Oligofrénicos", pero yo sé que somos un verdadero EJÉRCITO (más Goznlatezaete) y llevaremos a cabo con éxito esta misión.
Sí, y ya sé que los que se llaman "científicos" atribuirán la aparición de ayer al hecho de que a última hora se me acabase el agua y tuviese que hacerme el Colacao con anticongelante, pero yo sé que fue un designio divino, y como tal asumo mi misión y me pongo al mando.
Para empezar, debemos poner minas antitanque bajo las baldosas de la cocina. Yo me encargaré de hacerlo. Don Tomás, cuando acabe dígale a Maria Angustias que le de un repaso a las cenefas a ver si las he colocado bien. No se preocupe porque tras ver la foto de su cocina en esta misma webs, no creo que la explosión de un par de minas antitanque vaya a afectar gravemente a su aspecto.
Monchito, Gzonlazaete, vayan metiéndose en sendos sacos de patatas porque nos van a hacer falta trincheras.
Sargento Molina, su misión estará acorde con su graduación: usted se apostará en el mueble-bar y no parará de tomarse carajillos y cagarse en la puta hasta que se le ordene.
Muévanse.... ARRR!!!
Atentamente,
José Ramón Ramos-Povedilla.
Leo con alivio y asombro que aún permanecen firmes, y en buen estado, tanto físico como mental, resistiendo el asedio de las tribus islamicas, mapuches y progres, más numerosas que los granos de arena del desierto o las gotas de agua del oceano o las hojas de los árboles en la selva.
Les comunico que una vez equipado reglamentariamente con mi mauser resucitado y su bayoneta brillante como la estrella de Belen, me he puesto en camino para romper el asedio.
He pensado que, debido a su alto valor simbólico, es conveniente que inicie esta nueva cruzada de liberación nacional desde Covadonga, crisol de la hispanidad, poniendo mis armas bajo la avocación de la Virgen y desde donde realizaré un llamamiento a todos los liberal-crispantes del centro extremo para que se unan a nuestra milicia en mi regreso a la Capital, como si de una RE-Reconquista se tratare. De paso recogeremos unas cuantas toneladas más de Ditrintontolueno de la mina Conchita, sustancia a la que creo que todos los rojeras-separatistas temen.
Si por un casual, sucumbieran antes de que nuestras tropas espanten a sus sitiadores, tengan la seguridad de que su gesta y sus nombres, incluido el de Monchito, no serán olvidados, brillarán en el imaginario Español con más intensidad que los de Viriato, Agustina de Aragón o el general Moscardó.
Mientras, pueden encomendarse al arcángel Miguel, principe de la celeste milicia con divino poder.
!!!!Sus y a ellos¡¡¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡RRIBASPAÑA!!!!!!!
“usted se apostará en el mueble-bar y no parará de tomarse carajillos y cagarse en la puta hasta que se le ordene.”
Susordenessss¡¡¡ siempre mi teniente general, no podía ser de otra manera.
Los dos bidones de acido bórico que mande a mi cabo furriel trasladara al polvorín del regimiento están ahora en mi poder, por si hiciera falta mas munición pesada para el supermirafiori.
También estoy tomando yogures con bifidus activos para poder cagarme reglamentariamente contra todo aquel infiel, masón, mapuche, rojo, progreetarraprisoe que ose acercarse a las casa de D. Tomás.
Por lo demás no debemos preocuparnos, pronto oiremos un discurso como este:
“En el día de hoy, después de haber desarmado a la totalidad del Ejército Enemigo rojo, han alcanzado las fuerzas nacionales sus Últimos objetivos militares. La guerra ha terminado”. RRIBASSSSS AÑÑA OHONESSSSS¡¡¡¡¡¡
Por otra parte reconozco mi placer fruto de la crispación que me embarga al leer este nuevo post de D. Tomás.
Un nuevo apunte D. Tomás y disculpe por meterme en estos menesteres puramente periodísticos, asumo con orgullo Patrio mi sub-oficialidad y mi desconocimiento en materia periodística pero tenga usted en cuenta, y es del dominio público que D. Pedro José Ramírez (familiar suyo?) tiene que nadar y guardar la ropa, de ahí esas cuñas rojasmasonicasprogretarras, que a veces y por obligación tiene que introducir en el Nuevo Alcázar.
Es una forma inteligente de salvaguardar su digno periódico de la censura del ZPRISOE.
Si no fuera así quien , ¿quien nos iba a defender?, a parte de Usted, claro está.
UNA VEZ MAS: RRIBAAAAAAASSS AÑAAAA OHONES¡¡¡¡
MONCHITO COMEME EL TRONCHITO !!!
MONCHITO COMEME EL TRONCHITO !!!
Estimado D. Tomás y demás patriotas: he de reprenderles a ustedes por haber puesto a Moncho, mi secretario personal y chófer, al borde de una crisis nerviosa por la que igual tengo que enviarlo a un balneario de mi bolsillo; aunque probablemente me limite a comprarle un par de garrafones de Solán de Cabras para que tome las aguas aquí en casita, que el servicio no está acostumbrado a lujos e igual no mejora. Bien sé que el salmon fumé le sienta mal al muy ladrón, je je je.
En primer lugar, se dice POST no pots, se dice videoclip no videoclist!
En segundo lugar,¡vamos a ver! Francisco Franco ya murio. Solo los cobardes seguis defendiendo su ideal de intransigencia. Solo comeis productos nacionales... ni patatas, ni maiz, ni pasta.... vaya pena de vosotros.... mucho quejarse y para que! si al final sois igual que extrema izquierda, el mismo odio, la misma intolerancia. Todos vestiditos iguales, todos pensando lo mismo... como mi papá decía esto pues yo tambien lo digo, personalidad nula..... y bueno de la cristiandad y llegar virgen al matrimonio....... el imen intacto pero el culete bien petadete.... Y por supuesto, no hay que olvidar a los maltratadores de mujeres, que despues de pegar a sus mujeres dicen un ¡arriba España! y se van a la iglesia a rezar...que falserio hay en los extremos... que poca educación teneis..... Con Zapatero, ETA ha caido un poco mas, con Aznar se hizo muchisimo menos, con Zapatero, cada año menos muertos, con Aznar, cada vez se iba a peor... y por no hablar de el macho español del cual tanto hablais aqui, que en vez de disfrutar del sexo con su mujer, eyaculais en 1 minuto, le pegais una buena torta y ala! a sentirse macho!
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